Why people buy things

The reason people engage in any Exchange of Value (i.e., they buy things) is to improve the situation they are in now.

That means that, first of all, they need to recognize and admit that they Have a Problem.

Secondly, for the client to be able to evaluate the way your Solution will solve their Problem, they must allow themselves to “have an experience” of that Solution; to allow themselves to fully imagine what their life would be like if they owned it.

If they like what they feel and if the exchange is fair, they will buy. If they don’t like it, then you don’t want them as clients.

In other words, as a salesperson, after the prospect admits having a Problem, your aim is to facilitate for them to “have an experience” of what you have to offer. For that, they need to feel safe and secure in your presence, without any pressure (any pressure from your part will automatically ignite their resistance). They need to feel Connection with you.

The most effective way to go about that is for you to be Present, Non-Attached and Playful.

What’s your Main intention?

We enter every interaction with (at least) two motivations; one is Primary and one is Secondary. My Primary focus will determine the dynamic of that interaction and it will either hinder or facilitate the achievement of the Secondary intention. In a way, the Primary intention is the “channel” through which we reach our Secondary intention.
When you meet a salesperson who obviously wants something From you, how interested will you be in opening yourself and creating a true relationship with that person?
How would that be different if that salesperson conveys that they are alright regardless of your buying decision? Moreover, not only they are alright, but they are so genuinely detached of that outcome that they afford to take their time to learn about you as a person, to be curious about you as a human being. And, if they were to graciously ask you if you want to know about their product, how much more open will you be to say Yes to that, knowing that you can trust them for not using any “tactics” to “make you buy”?

Brian Tracy (or Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi?) said somewhere that we achieve the most important things in life by focusing on something else – for instance, we find happiness by doing something we love…

Next time you enter a sales interaction, Choose Connection as your Main intention and BE that person… This doesn’t mean that you don’t want them to buy, only that it would be Secondary to you. The more genuine the Connection (and your non-attachment to the outcome), the more likely they will trust you and will actually Listen to you when you’ll be talking about your Secondary intention.

Selling and Dating

Dating is a Selling interaction and we all have a sense that certain attitudes are not helpful – like neediness, trying too hard or pretending to be something other than what you really are.

However, I discovered that too many salespersons tend to adopt (in their Commercial selling interactions) exactly the attitudes that they Know they would not bring in any Dating interactions (because they know it would not be helpful).

What if, before seeing your next prospect, you were to transpose Selling with Dating and make sure that you bring into the Selling situation only the attitudes that you would also consider bringing into a Dating situation?

What would it be like to consider your client as your Dating partner (and I hope you’re treating your dates with elegance and class)?